LACE.infinity

okay MOVED AGAIN.

2010-11-26T22:31:00.004+08:00

yay doubt anyone reads this anymore cos i've decided to not blog here.

PRIVATE BLOG somewhere else.

woohooo :)

2010-11-03T17:34:00.001+08:00

i haven blogged for so long.

shall revive this soon.

i feel shitty today.

2010-06-29T09:22:00.002+08:00

its not easy putting on a false front to try and be happy.

i tried to. but im really drained out. ):

but i know people who care for me will worry for me. so wells, press on!!!!~

even though all doors are shut out now, im sure there's still a window left open for me..

pull me away from the complexities of this world, maybe i'll be happier ):

2010-06-25T10:08:00.003+08:00

i am so tired.
this morning i woke up, stared at the mirror, and realized the impact of the past few months of late nights. alert call for facial, pure relaxation, and eye masks and nothing but eye masks!

i questioned myself recently - why do my life seem so complicated when it use to be really simple and carefree? i hate being entangled in different complicated situations, they draw my energy and focus away from what i should be doing.
my life has been turned topsy turvy.

i used to have a happy family. now i don't.
i used to be a very homely person. now im not.
i..

i sit alone in the middle of nowhere, trying to join all puzzle pieces back, but only to realize there's always a few missing to paint this beautiful picture i had in mind. im not emo-ing and implying to end my life.

im just.. really.

TIRED.. ):

2010-06-18T09:17:00.001+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

FML.

I'm just a twenty-year old. Can fate stop fiddling around with my life?!

)):

in a great big mess

2010-06-07T10:29:00.002+08:00

was reading my horoscope this morning for yesterday and today's forecast..

YESTERDAY:-

Sunday, June 6 2010

More and more, others realize that you are not what you appear to be. Your personality and the way the world sees you may appear more independent and outgoing than usual. An extroverted manner screens a more inward and quiet seeking self. In other words, you are much more sensitive and concerned about what others think. Although your outer personality may seem tough and self-centered, you are more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others than you convey outwardly. Your appearance and personality may bring you attention today. A bookstore or video store appeals to you and you may decide that one of you favorite ideas of a hobby could get a better start if you knew more about the subject.

so true, im thoroughly amazed. but why do i feel so plastic at times? ): honestly, i dislike this feeling.

TODAY:-

Monday, June 7 2010

Right now, the key to career moves involves attending to nagging details--whatever you have neglected or delayed. Attention to matters of health and efficiency are important. Opportunities are plentiful and you may find yourself wanting to do almost everything. Things are working with rather than against you; do not hold back. However, do not overdo and try to go too far too fast. Let things take their natural course; this should be an easy path now. Prosperous things result from new insights, inventions and an independent point of view. Circumstances may augment and stimulate appreciation and enjoyment of your life situation. Your mind may be very clear now and your thoughts brought to a sharp focus. Communication is productive.

and so now im in a great big dilemma. fuck this whole matter mann. why did i even allow myself to falter into such issues? i really hate myself for that, really. ): and its no longer just one person's problem, it has secretly enveloped more and more people into this whole stupid thing. if you don't know anything, don't bother asking me what happened, i won't say it.

i knew it. breaking down is just a matter of when and where and to whom it concerns. this feeling sucks totally.

when qj left me three years back, i didn't feel anything harsh. not as 'painful' as this time round. ): perhaps it was the silent wait that impacted me this much. someone please tell me its all a dream.. things are moving a tad too fast, and i cannot catch up.

on the other hand, im feeling so lost over work issues. but this i guess isn't on my priority list now..

FML. perhaps it's time to move on and get away now..

byebye

2010-06-04T01:03:00.002+08:00

the road is never-ending if i choose not to stop
but bidding farewell at this point totally spells stupidity
or rather naivety

or i rather hide somewhere, cry my heart out, and realise its all but just a dream

2010-04-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

FML.

2010-04-03T10:57:00.001+08:00

i keep saying i wanna blog.
but when my photo is uploading, i decided, i was too lazy.
just need someone to talk to instead.
someone to listen to me rant.
will you?

rahh.

anyway, im speaking to my mentor lee junior tomorrow. im hoping to get everything sorted out then. (:

thanks

2010-03-08T22:29:00.002+08:00

Joanna is happy today. :D

But I know its dumb to get so happy over this issue. Still, thank you so much. (:
I'm sure my efforts paid off pretty well!

Still busy over many many things. I'm getting rather stressed up though I know, I'll be happy like nothing once they're over!

tied down

2010-03-03T22:40:00.003+08:00

I feel so tied down.

Officially started full-time this week. And I'm already feeling the stress level with two of my events coming up end March. There's neverending work piling up and no doubt late nights have been taking its toil on me. OMG. I am no longer able to go shopping on weekdays afternoons like I use to do. No longer able to do whatever I like without having to worry about the colossal mountain of work. ><

ANYWAY I NEED HELP FOR AN EVENT ON 27 MARCH 2010. Am looking for both part-timers as well someone to help manage certain parts on that day! Call me or text me please!

Have no mood to blog now, cos' I have tons of work to clear.

she's a liar

2010-02-21T15:27:00.004+08:00

Perhaps I'm too naive. It sucks knowing someone whom you've once been close with is in fact full of deceit.

Never mind. Anyway, I'm starting full time work in March. ): Just one week away, but I know I'm not prepared to be tied down yet.

There's something very wrong with me today, but I just don't know why.

):

2010-02-07T11:22:00.001+08:00

I have so much things to blog, but I just can't find time to do so. ):

i wanna go dancing

2010-02-01T01:19:00.006+08:00

really.

i think i can be such a bitch at times.

here i am saying how i envy some people's life which seems so carefree.

and there i am dissing off on irritating people who keeps saying they're jealous of this and that.

i haven been blogging for sooooooo long. just call me plain lazy.

it's really hard to juggle between school and work.

so life is hell hectic for me to an extent i've been bored of shopping literally.

but as cny draws nearer, i realised my room is still in a big mess and i'm not done with my shopping either. 0:

i still have a 2,500 words research paper left undone and due next week. oh GREAT.

did i mention before that i've already signed the contract for my full-time position with ultrex? yeah, and now i did hur. heh. :P it wasn't a very good deal in fact, as in the salary but wells, i've already given my word before we talked terms, so yes, can't back out. ): but on the other hand, i really felt i should have taken up either offers from the other companies when they offered. they pay so much better lor!

okay, actually its also the CPF that kills. a whole freaking 20% off that figure is like WOAH. damn knn. ya la, to poly graduates it matters okay!

looking back, i realised it has been a hell 5 months since i last lived off my parents (minus the fact i'm still staying in their house haha). woah, independence did not come by easy i must say. it sucks at times. )"

by the way, i'm hoping that 2010 will be a very very good year cos' it hasn't started out well for me. just last week, i unwillingly spent a fair sum of money on something stupid that wouldn't have been called for if i was just a wee bit more careful.

yupp, so i am very very very very very BROKE now. and i did a rough calculation just now and wtf!!!!! i spent almost 500 bucks on f21 this month! damn.

okay, i've got a stupid 15 minutes consultation tomorrow morning. after which meeting k for lunch then off to start on my research paper again.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT CLUBBING ANYONE? i need to let off but please dun start bombarding me with stupid questions that night. i've been going through a lot lately so please dun add on to those.

thanks. text me people, need to start a wee bit on the research paper now and figure out what i can ask her tomorrow during the consultation. i never liked attending consultations cos' i always assume i know what i'm doing haha. effing high level of self-confidence i know, bitch it.

basket.

2010-01-20T23:45:00.002+08:00

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

i was happy when i came to work today, knowing that i have new projects to follow up on again.

and then came a presentation for the client, which went all so well.

then back to office, and dearest nuris was packing up and leaving. well, she tendered, and is leaving the company for good. ): i'll miss you so much babe. stay happy always, and thanks for letting me kidnap your calculator.

and then comes end of work. stayed behind with kimbo to finish up some work. and then i was on facebook while waiting for her to finish up when i saw some retard bitching on me there. KNN.

so now im back home, bitched with my younger sis over her schoolmates and my friends, then we bathed and sat down at the dining table facing our screens again.

here comes the great news - i just so happen to check my tp email, and saw an email from the tutor saying that my approval form has been rejected and please send in a new one by 21st January 2010, Thursday, 9am.

which just so happens to be tomorrow morning. WTF.

didn't they know that im having my internship? they sent the email yesterday, and who the hell so free every day go check school email? FUCK MANN.

and then now i have so much things to finish up, they throw this pile of shit for me to redo. by tomorrow morning somemore?!

the least they could do is drop us an sms or post in ole-bb about this crap that approval forms that were rejected have to be submitted in again and those who got rejected will receive an email?

or they expect me to write a letter from my company stating that I AM STILL HAVING MY INTERNSHIP?! not everyone finished their internship so early okay?

okay, im super fed up now, super fucked up till max.

that is why i say i hate school.

competition

2010-01-19T19:56:00.002+08:00

i haven't been blogging. cos' i've been lazy. very lazy i should say.
everytime i type in a few words or a paragraph, i just feel like deleting them and click on the 'x' tab.

anyway, i've been on leave from yesterday till today to do up my portfolio.
progression has been bad.
i have so much to say, but phrasing them is a chore.
nevertheless, it's still imcomplete.
i've only finish halfway through on the mini project part, but im at page 7 already.
haha, i'm so going to exceed. ):

okay okay, back to the topic of the post - competition.
well, i just realized, or no.. i have always realized that there seems to be people trying to compete with me over something. and i totally dislike that feeling.
why make this world so hard to live in by forcing yourself to be better than someone else always?
from grades to personal life and then to achievements.
WHATEVER.

fight with yourself okay? if A is the best you can get, go on and strive for A+, and not trying to compete if your A is a higher A or lower A than mine.

i set goals for myself. and i definitely will want to achieve them. and i know i will.
i don't like to compare myself with others cos' it will only make me a worse person.

alright, shall go back to the portfolio.
i've heard from kim-the-bim that i'm going to be very busy for the remaining of this week.
awwwwwwww mann!

its not easy to maintain friendship

2010-01-16T21:50:00.002+08:00

This has been brought up over and over again.

But every time, I realize we do not reach any closure. It's just left hanging there, until the next time someone brings it up.

It sucks so much.

forgive me for being a bitch today

2010-01-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

Kim was fb-ing today when she glanced upon this photo and I had her sent that to me immediately:

First of all, this was taken at the Siloso Beach Party a week ago.

Secondly, I don't understand why girls will wear their bra and panties instead of a bikini. Okay, I know they serve the same purposes by blocking their 3 vital points, but still, you don't wear your bra and panties to the beach right?

Thirdly, never mind their faces and their almost-quite-hot bodies. I think they're transvestites. Oh well, not me actually, but many netizens on facebook have been commenting on this.

The last point, which is also the most important point, is that the girl in pink is the victim of the infamous video which sees to 4 ah-nehs molesting a girl. (refer to the post below)

Please be a little nicer and not think the way I did when I first saw this picture.

Even though now I know the ah-nehs were molesting a 'guy' instead, I still don't like them. They were probably too blind to notice that she was a guy. Fucking gross.

Oh, I wonder if 'she' had done a good boob job. Hahah. (: With all that caressing, her boobs probably went out of shape la!

Okay, I'm tired. There's classroom session tomorrow morning at 9am and then I've got a party to attend - or maybe I should just sleep my day away. (:

the ah-nehs

2010-01-07T10:52:00.001+08:00

Watch this.

Damn KNN. In case you have drooping eyelids and cannot see clearly what is going on in that video, let me tell you.

The four indians/bangla-lookalikes were publicly molesting the girl in bikini. Apparently she's kinda tipsy, but that makes no reason for the ah-nehs to be touching all over her body. Btw, this incident happened during the countdown recently at Siloso Beach Party.

Go watch the video again. They were literally caressing her boobs and trying to tear off her bikini.

With this, it makes me ponder upon a few questions:

1. Where are her friends?
I don't think she went to the countdown alone right?! Either her boyfriend or friends should be around but WHERE ARE THEY? As drunk as her? Or probably being dragged into the bushes by the remaining gang of ah-nehs to rape them or something?

2. What is wrong with Singaporeans? Or whoever that was there that night, witness the whole incident, and start snapping/rolling away with their cameras?
For goodness sake, I see photos and videos of the girl being molested on stage so openly. Even the video lasted for about 40 seconds. And people just stood there partying and having fun watching these ah-nehs molest her. And taking pictures and videos somemore. Fuck these puny brats.

I googled a little and found variations in responses from the public regarding this incident. (with reference to http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/caught_in_the_act/300696/4_men_harass_woman_at_countdown_party_but_no_one_helped.html)

The girl is a slut. She wore bikini and got herself drunk and stood on the stage herself. She deserves to get molested publicly. Oh yes yes, it's a countdown party and she should be drinking milk by the bar and looking at others partying real hard. Come on la, you party and go crazy. But well, this time round this young lady probably learnt a hard lesson. I'm not saying she's not at fault, I think she should at least have gotten someone along with her. Or her friends should tag along when she runs off and start dancing on the stage right? Babe, dump your friends. They're idiots.

I would have slapped the men. Thanks for being one of those FEW that stands up for this lady. But I would have gotten a bottle to smash their privates and then push them off the stage. KNS.

I don't really care because it's not my business. Oh, so one day if it happens to you or your girlfriends, I'll walk up and say the same thing to you then.

Tell me now, how to not shun away from ah-nehs?

It's not that I am racist. But please, what is wrong with them? They seem so proud to be doing that on the stage, in front of the thousands pairs of eyes. KNN.

I always have this habit of staying away from ah-nehs. I am not discriminating or whatsoever but since young, my mummy always tells me "you better behave yourself, if not the ah bu neh neh will come catch you". (I see many nods in agreement.)

Right right right? See?! From young, I was told to stay away from them. So the chinese idiom "耳濡目染" which means being influenced by the environment stays true.

Let me reiterate, I AM NOT RACIST OKAY?! I just have a preference of sticking to similar race - Chinese, Malays and Angmohs (I know this is not a race, whatever la! Don't laugh at this please!).

And this morning on my way to work, there were some ah-nehs around me. Unknowingly, I found myself drifting away from wherever they were. I just feel quite grossed out. Especially after watching the video.

Okay, enough of ah-nehs talk. Gotta rush off for an event at Sentosa in 15 minutes time. Shall blog again very soon! (:

a change for the new year

2010-01-03T16:52:00.013+08:00

HAPPY 2010!

Nothing feels different to me. It's just a jump in numbers from 09 to 10 isn't it? Seeing everyone else make a big hoo-ha over the new year, seems like I'm the only one not drowning myself in this joyous period. Perhaps it's true that as one grows older, these passing years simply means nothing. Ahh shit. I am still young right? Yes, so true.

Okay, I see people splashing their new year resolutions across their fb and blogs. So, here's mine:
1. Cut down on my frivolous spending.
2. I will try to cut down on messiness at home and at my workplace.
3. Can't think of any other for now, shall leave this open for future entries. (:

I've always been someone who's straightforward and speaks my heart. However, lately I've learnt that not everyone can take my words lightly. Even a slightest simplest sms will send me into whirls of thinking on how to reply. I've since learnt to reject in a subtle unknowing manner, and to speak only after thinking through the consequences my words may land me into.

That aside, lately I've been hooked onto prawning! :DDD For the first time of my life, I went prawning at East Coast yesterday! At first we took up the 3-hour package, then maine and me decided to extend because it was soooooooooo fun waiting for the prawns to get hooked! Although our skills ain't there - only 4 prawns within that 4 hours, we still went home with one kg worth of prawns for dinner...

East Coast Prawning.

Yay! Our very first prawn!! (:

Using chicken liver as bait. Or maybe I should say teeny weeny bits and pieces of chicken liver. (:

"Our" catch for the day!

The catch waiting in the basin to be shelled. (:

I know it doesn't look very yummy, but looks doesn't = taste.

stir-fried prawns with butter and cheese. (:

I did not steal anyone's prawns okay! Hahahahaha, we had so much prawns eventually because some guy who was prawning with his two kids decides to give us all their remaining prawns. Fucking nice right! We didn't go seduce him or whatsoever, but I swore the entire pool of prawners (is that what you call people who go prawning? haha, I dun care, I think it is) who saw the kid giving me their catch was green with jealousy boiling high. :D There was this funny auntie who stood behind us throughout the last 2 hours, I wondered if she wanted to steal my pathetic catch lor. And when the little boy came to give us his catch, she was smiling as if it was her they were giving the prawns to. Some people are simply so funny.

But okay la, I think they gave us the prawns because there was a bimbo squealing off when the prawns jumped off her hands and she funnily swerved her rod over the fence when she got her catch. I don't know who the bimbo is though. (:

So after the hearty catch, I cabbed home while maine drove off to find her dad. And along the way, I was thinking hard to decide the fate of these huge prawns. And the results were YUMMILICIOUS I swore. My sister loved my prawns too lor!

Backdate to New Year Day. Woke up early morning to do up the accounts for clique. I realised how much I've spent for the past 4 months only when I start digging through the stacks of receipts. ): That is why, I made my new year resolution this year to spend lesser, shop lesser, use the cards wiser. (:

Anyway, was late when rushing off to meet kim so I had to flag a cab there instead. At first I flagged one citycab, and then the uncle mumbled some foreign language I don't understand, and simply signalled that he can't take me. So fine, because of that thirty seconds spent understanding his words, I missed 3 other empty cabs. KNN. Then when the next empty one came along like 3 minutes later, I got on and told the cabbie my destination - United Square. So he drove off for less than 200m and then told me he doesn't know his way there.

Cabbie: Uhm, actually I don't know how to get there from here. Do you know how to go there?

Me: Erm. There's a reason why I'm taking a cab right? (If I jolly well know how to go there, I would obviously drive there myself - minus the fact that I don't have a license yet haha.)

Cabbie: Oh okay. So how do I get there? CTE?

Me: Yes. (then I gave him directions to turn to CTE)

(on CTE, exiting to Thomson Road/Balestier Road)
(He was making a turn, ready to enter some carpark.)

Cabbie: So it's here right? Novena Square.

Me: Err. No, I want to go to United Square.

Cabbie: Oh okay.. (drives off to the front junction) I think its that building (points to United Square) but I cannot turn here already, can I just drop you off here?

Me: No. I said I wanted to go United Square right? This is far from there. Can you just drive further up and see if you can make a U-turn anywhere? (fuming like mad at this point, how dumb can he get la!)

Cabbie: I cannot make a turn here..

Me: I KNOW! That's why I said go up front to see if you can make a turn right? (Fuck la, I'm the one paying the cab fare can!)

(So further up the road, there was a turn-in which leads to the cab stand of United Square and he turned in so I unwillingly paid him the $11 cab fare and got out of the cab, still fuming at the whole ride experience.)

I know I was a bitch. But if you jolly well don't know your roads, then get a GPS or a directory!! For goodness sake, don't be a cabbie if you don't know how to drive around la! KNS!

What a way to start off the new year! ><
kim. 5 months of internship, 5 months of close friendship and counting on. (:

With that, shall end this first post of this blog with..

Happy New Year!! ♥

sometimes the different facets of life exposes the ugly sides to it - just like the windshield wiper opens up the road for the driver.